Gas Pains

“Blessed be the Lord! For He has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.”

Psalm 130:2

Troy had not felt well for weeks—actually, months. He had this ache or that pain, and we all felt it with him. He is not one to suffer silently, and mercy is not my dominant spiritual gift. God has a sense of humor. The day had been nonstop, and I was taking some personal time to jog three miles in our gated community. Streetlamps lit the way as I traveled in stress-relieving circles praying, rehashing the day in my mind, and just sweating off the tension from the day. I stopped by the house to get a drink of water only to have Troy meet me in the kitchen. “I think I need to go to the hospital.” He groaned. “My side hurts. I think it’s probably my appendix.”

The last time he went to the emergency room for his appendix, the doctor told him it was gas and sent him home with gas medicine. Weenie, I thought. Why does he have to be such a hypochondriac? My husband needed a hug, and I needed a spanking.

“OK, honey. Just let me finish my run, and then I will take you. You do realize it’s probably just gas again?” Putting down my water bottle, I bounced out the door to finish my exercise. When I returned, Troy was gone. Oh good. He took himself. There’s nothing like waiting in an emergency room for several hours to be told you have gas. Twice.

After a while I called his cell phone to check on him. “They are admitting me. I’m going to have my appendix removed. Will you come up here?”

Feeling like wife of the year, I loaded the kids in the car and went to spend the next several hours at the hospital while he had his abscessed appendix removed. Well, at least those acute gas pains are gone for good! Hopefully the next time he has a real pain, I will have real mercy.

(Taken from Live, Love, Laugh and Laundry?)

Challenge: Has your heart been merciful to your loved ones? Ask God to search your heart and give you a genuine love for the needs of others.

Marriage with My French Lover

Twenty-two years ago today I married the man I now call My French Lover. When we first met, we knew that we were meant to be together and that no couple would be happier. There was no question about it. We stood in our church and vowed to God before the congregation 'for better or worse for richer or poor till death do us part.’

Throughout our 22 years of marriage we have clung to our promise to God, some days with joy and others with white knuckles hanging onto the throne of God for help as two strong-willed people struggling to become one. We have experienced each aspect of our vows... ‘For better’ started out on our honeymoon and lasted until we returned home, when we quickly realized that the ‘for better’ was really ‘for poorer’ just with marriage benefits. However, the giant feat of paying for school and living expenses quickly challenged the romance. The merging of our two over–worked, completely exhausted lives began the growing-up process in both of us!

Seasons of bliss rotated with seasons of pain as ‘life happened’ in our family. Year after year of small decisions, life-altering decisions, and inconsequential decisions can absolutely drain a couple of love if proactive measures aren’t taken to embrace life as one. If a plan of action is not in place to protect and nurture the sacred union, it WILL become weakened.

We became drained.

We experienced the "What was I thinking?" syndrome? However, we chose not to ‘follow our hearts’ as the world teaches, and we decisively told our hearts how they would feel by showing them through our actions. Harmony covers our marriage today, not because we always agree on how the money should be spent, or how the kids should be raised, but because we are determined to treat each other with adoring love and utmost respect regardless of our feelings in the moment.

It’s amazing how choosing to act in-love precedes the actual feelings. One day when I had a list of nasty words I wanted to call him out loud, (I know that's hard to believe) I made myself change his name in my phone contacts to My French Lover. Trust me, getting my fingers to obey my will and not my heart that day was a huge accomplishment. But God is faithful and He took my stale attitude and gave me a love for my husband that has truly made him My French Lover.

Our 22 years has been filled with blessing and struggle, ups and downs, better and worse, richer and poorer. We have experienced more than our vows promised and it has been worth the ride.

I adore My French Lover.

I am thankful to the Lord for hand picking this wonderful man to challenge, stretch and bless me into growing in many ways. Happy Anniversary Troy…May we have many more years together plus 10 more kids!! :-)

Teeth

Like all jobs dentistry has distinct pros and cons. For one, our large family represents 320 teeth that need to be cared for and since there is nothing frightening about Dr. Daddy, my kids won’t grow up hating the dentist ( if all goes well.) The main con would be the after hours and weekend emergencies that disrupt our family time or change our schedule. We knew of this going into the profession, but it took some time and practice to figure out what a real emergency was. Some emergencies aren’t emergencies at all. 

For instance, if a patient has a toothache for weeks, but waits until Saturday night to call the doctor, well, that patient is irresponsibility (says Mrs. Dr. Bonin) and they can wait until Monday morning during office hours. Others, however, are real emergencies. My very merciful husband would see anyone anytime, in fact, he did for the first ten years. Wifely prodding, family size and years of experience have taught him to see only the real emergencies.

It was Saturday evening and we were getting into a family movie mode. The kids were popping corn as I gathered fluffy blankets for our giant family cuddle huddle, when my husband realized he had missed a call. He called his voice mail and listened to the message with a somber look on his face. Knowing I would not be thrilled about a Saturday night office visit, he had me listen to the message myself. On the line was a precious eighty-year-old woman who sounded distraught. 

She commenced to tell my husband that she had laid her teeth on the end table next to the couch. When she went to the kitchen to get a drink, her dog ate them!!

She did not want to miss Sunday School the next day! 

Could he do anything? She could not go to church without her teeth!

He wanted me to hear the anguish in her voice myself, to soften the blow of him missing our family movie night. I handed him the phone slowly, understanding that this was classified as a real emergency. My mind worked fast as my hand moved in slow motion, then it came to me!

“Call her back, Honey! Tell her to feed her dog a LARGE meal and she should have her bridge out by tomorrow morning, then she will have her teeth for Sunday School and you get to cuddle with us!”

“Good grief!” was his reply as he looked for his keys. 

Hugs and kisses sent Daddy out the door. Dentistry is more than a job for him and I am thankful. He likes to say that dentistry is his ministry and it is the perfect job for his merciful personality. God knew which one of us to put in that profession.

Dr. Daddy skillfully put our sweet patient into a temporary bridge. The whole family was proud of him and ultimately happy to make the sacrifice for our elderly friend. We planned another movie night for the following weekend and hoped that all our patients would keep their teeth in their mouths and their dogs on the floor!

Valentine's

"The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands,” Proverbs 14:1

Most of the free world celebrated Valentine’s Day this past Monday; the one-day set aside and reserved for “building one’s house” in the way the above scripture, suggests. I love an excuse to celebrate, decorate, shop and surprise the one’s I love. This year when I saw my husband’s reaction to my words of adoration on the card I gave him, my heart was pierced and convicted that I do not tell him daily what he means to me. 

It is so easy to get into the rut of life: going to work, checking of the exercise routine, eating dinner with the family, bathing and reading to the kids, then hitting the sac in order to do it all again the next day.

Building a house is a one brick at a time process. A big, beautiful, strong house that will withstand torrential winds and rain is not built over night. Neither does a strong, healthy, stable family “just happen.” Scripture is clear that the woman has the power to build or tear down her own home with her hands. 

If I am not conscience and thoughtful concerning my words, they will be orders, commands and instructions, similar to a drill sergeant’s words. Our sharp words, impatient tempers, and PMS moods are the absolute quickest way to tear down our homes.

Proverbs 15:28, says, “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”

We women have a torrent of words we need to speak each day. How many times do we pour forth too many words that leave everyone in the room weary, when with a little thought our words could have energized our loved ones instead of tiring them.

I had an eye opening life lesson last week concerning my own words.

My six-year-old daughter did a very childish deed. Imagine that, I six-year-old that acts childish occasionally. 

That is exactly how I responded. 

One would think I would know to expect these acts and deal with them patiently every single time at this point in my life, since she is my seventh go around in parenting, but unfortunately, I have not arrived and this is not the case. 

When I found out what she had done, I jumped all over her with my words in an aggressive, “You have got to be kidding me!” tone. Her little countenance dropped and a few hours later, she came to me with great humility and said, “Mom, will you please forgive me for what I did?” Of course, I hugged her and told her she was forgiven.

However, that night while I was lying on my bed in the stillness of the night, Jesus gently spoke to my spirit, “The anger of man, will not produce the righteousness of God,” James 1:20. Ouch!! The soft reproof accomplished its work and my heart was grieved for my harsh tone with my little one.

 She was just acting her age. 

All Laura-Kate needed was some gentle instruction on how to behave in a certain situation. I was the one that needed to ask for her forgiveness, so the next morning I explained to her in front of her siblings at our morning Bible study, that Jesus had shown me my sin and I had not built her up, but I had hurt her with my quick reaction.

“Would she please forgive me?”

This being Valentine’s week is a great week for some self-examination. Let’s study how to answer, so that we can build strong, healthy families that will do the world good. 

The verse that precedes James 1:20, says, “But everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. (20)For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” 

Our spouses and kids need our listening ears, kind responses, gentle tones, and edifying words more than we realize. A family is an eternal gift from above that we should treasure with our daily acts of love and words of adoration. 

Let’s make a habit of weighing our words for the purpose of building up the ones we love the most. Happy Talking