"The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands,” Proverbs 14:1
Most of the free world celebrated Valentine’s Day this past Monday; the one-day set aside and reserved for “building one’s house” in the way the above scripture, suggests. I love an excuse to celebrate, decorate, shop and surprise the one’s I love. This year when I saw my husband’s reaction to my words of adoration on the card I gave him, my heart was pierced and convicted that I do not tell him daily what he means to me.
It is so easy to get into the rut of life: going to work, checking of the exercise routine, eating dinner with the family, bathing and reading to the kids, then hitting the sac in order to do it all again the next day.
Building a house is a one brick at a time process. A big, beautiful, strong house that will withstand torrential winds and rain is not built over night. Neither does a strong, healthy, stable family “just happen.” Scripture is clear that the woman has the power to build or tear down her own home with her hands.
If I am not conscience and thoughtful concerning my words, they will be orders, commands and instructions, similar to a drill sergeant’s words. Our sharp words, impatient tempers, and PMS moods are the absolute quickest way to tear down our homes.
Proverbs 15:28, says, “The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.”
We women have a torrent of words we need to speak each day. How many times do we pour forth too many words that leave everyone in the room weary, when with a little thought our words could have energized our loved ones instead of tiring them.
I had an eye opening life lesson last week concerning my own words.
My six-year-old daughter did a very childish deed. Imagine that, I six-year-old that acts childish occasionally.
That is exactly how I responded.
One would think I would know to expect these acts and deal with them patiently every single time at this point in my life, since she is my seventh go around in parenting, but unfortunately, I have not arrived and this is not the case.
When I found out what she had done, I jumped all over her with my words in an aggressive, “You have got to be kidding me!” tone. Her little countenance dropped and a few hours later, she came to me with great humility and said, “Mom, will you please forgive me for what I did?” Of course, I hugged her and told her she was forgiven.
However, that night while I was lying on my bed in the stillness of the night, Jesus gently spoke to my spirit, “The anger of man, will not produce the righteousness of God,” James 1:20. Ouch!! The soft reproof accomplished its work and my heart was grieved for my harsh tone with my little one.
She was just acting her age.
All Laura-Kate needed was some gentle instruction on how to behave in a certain situation. I was the one that needed to ask for her forgiveness, so the next morning I explained to her in front of her siblings at our morning Bible study, that Jesus had shown me my sin and I had not built her up, but I had hurt her with my quick reaction.
“Would she please forgive me?”
This being Valentine’s week is a great week for some self-examination. Let’s study how to answer, so that we can build strong, healthy families that will do the world good.
The verse that precedes James 1:20, says, “But everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. (20)For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
Our spouses and kids need our listening ears, kind responses, gentle tones, and edifying words more than we realize. A family is an eternal gift from above that we should treasure with our daily acts of love and words of adoration.
Let’s make a habit of weighing our words for the purpose of building up the ones we love the most. Happy Talking