Marriage with My French Lover

Twenty-two years ago today I married the man I now call My French Lover. When we first met, we knew that we were meant to be together and that no couple would be happier. There was no question about it. We stood in our church and vowed to God before the congregation 'for better or worse for richer or poor till death do us part.’

Throughout our 22 years of marriage we have clung to our promise to God, some days with joy and others with white knuckles hanging onto the throne of God for help as two strong-willed people struggling to become one. We have experienced each aspect of our vows... ‘For better’ started out on our honeymoon and lasted until we returned home, when we quickly realized that the ‘for better’ was really ‘for poorer’ just with marriage benefits. However, the giant feat of paying for school and living expenses quickly challenged the romance. The merging of our two over–worked, completely exhausted lives began the growing-up process in both of us!

Seasons of bliss rotated with seasons of pain as ‘life happened’ in our family. Year after year of small decisions, life-altering decisions, and inconsequential decisions can absolutely drain a couple of love if proactive measures aren’t taken to embrace life as one. If a plan of action is not in place to protect and nurture the sacred union, it WILL become weakened.

We became drained.

We experienced the "What was I thinking?" syndrome? However, we chose not to ‘follow our hearts’ as the world teaches, and we decisively told our hearts how they would feel by showing them through our actions. Harmony covers our marriage today, not because we always agree on how the money should be spent, or how the kids should be raised, but because we are determined to treat each other with adoring love and utmost respect regardless of our feelings in the moment.

It’s amazing how choosing to act in-love precedes the actual feelings. One day when I had a list of nasty words I wanted to call him out loud, (I know that's hard to believe) I made myself change his name in my phone contacts to My French Lover. Trust me, getting my fingers to obey my will and not my heart that day was a huge accomplishment. But God is faithful and He took my stale attitude and gave me a love for my husband that has truly made him My French Lover.

Our 22 years has been filled with blessing and struggle, ups and downs, better and worse, richer and poorer. We have experienced more than our vows promised and it has been worth the ride.
I adore My French Lover.

I am thankful to the Lord for hand picking this wonderful man to challenge, stretch and bless me into growing in many ways. Happy Anniversary Troy…May we have many more years together plus 10 more kids!! :-)